We often ask ourselves one pertinent question after experiencing emotional trauma: how do we let go of the painful past? Often we hold on to the past just because it’s familiar to us, and we want to live in the delusion that we’re safe. Holding on to the past is a conscious decision, but so is letting go and moving forward.
One thing that connects us as humans is our capacity to experience pain. Whether the pain is physical or emotional, we all feel pain at regular intervals in our life. Experts suggest that when emotional pain prevents us from healing from a particular situation, it’s a sign that we aren’t letting go of the past and moving forward in a growth-oriented manner.
Here are a few tips if you’re finding it hard to move forward from your painful past.
Develop A Positive Mantra to Counter Your Painful Thoughts
This might sound bizarre, but the way you talk to yourself has a significant impact on your life. It can either help you move forward or keep you wallowing in self-pity. Having a mantra that you repeat to yourself in times of emotional pain can aid you in reframing your thoughts. For example, instead of saying, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” say, “I’m fortunate to find a challenge to grow from in life.”
Create Physical Distance
You often hear people say that you must distance yourself from the situation or person causing you emotional pain. That’s not a bad idea at all. If you create physical or psychological distance between yourself and the person or situation harmful to you, you’ll no longer need to think about it or process it. After a while, you’ll be in a much better position to move on.
Focus On Yourself
It’s common for people to focus on the person who’s caused them emotional trauma and lose themselves. But, remember: focusing on yourself is essential to healing from the situation. Whenever you find yourself thinking about the person who hurt you, bring yourself back to the present. Then, think of something you’re eternally grateful for in life.
Be Gentle With Yourself
We are often our worst enemies. If your first response after a painful experience is to criticize yourself, you’re probably too hard on yourself. Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend in trouble. Hurt is inevitable. At times, you may not be able to avoid pain. However, you should choose to treat yourself lovingly whenever a situation like that arises.
The Bottom Line
If you want to let go of the painful past, you’ll need to make a conscious decision to move ahead. But that’ll take time and practice. In my book The Maestro Monologue: Discover Your Genius. Defeat Your Intruder. Design Your Destiny, I explore the power of letting go and building a more enriching life in detail. I also share my personal struggles and how I learned to let go of painful memories. Grab a copy now and create your destiny.