Janet Martin Ruiz: A Life of Love, Loss, and Resilience
Janet Martin Ruiz has lived a life filled with both heartache and triumph and at 82, she has transformed her deeply personal experiences into a debut memoir that speaks directly to anyone who has faced grief. Her journey; marked by resilience, family, and faith, offers readers a perspective on loss that feels genuine, relatable, and inspiring.
Janet’s story began in a small town in Northern California, where she grew up as the youngest of seven children in a family of Spanish immigrants. Her family had come to the U.S. through Hawaii, finally settling in California to work in agriculture. Raised in a tight-knit community, Janet learned early on the value of family and community support. Although college wasn’t an option for her due to financial constraints, she carved her own path, eventually becoming a realtor and a community leader. Her work with the Yolo County Mental Health Association earned her a special self-help award, a recognition she is still proud of today.
But Janet’s life took a hard turn when she faced a mother’s worst nightmare: the sudden loss of her son, Brian. In her memoir, she vividly recalls the heartbreaking moment of realization in the ambulance; an instinctive, almost unexplainable knowledge that Brian was gone. His passing brought unimaginable sorrow to her family and also put a strain on her marriage. While Janet coped by openly grieving and surrounding herself with the memories of her son, her husband Frank handled the tragedy in silence, visiting Brian’s grave alone each morning. This difference in grieving styles led to a rift in their marriage, eventually ending their relationship. For Janet, Brian’s death became a lifelong journey of healing, one that she hopes will resonate with readers who have also suffered great loss.
Janet’s journey into writing began unexpectedly. Decades after Brian’s passing, Janet reconnected with Derek, a childhood friend, and soulmate she had always cherished. They spent 11 happy years together, but Derek’s death in 2019 left her feeling deeply lost once again. One morning, she decided she couldn’t let herself stay in that place of grief. At her daughter’s encouragement, she enrolled in a writing class that focused on turning grief into personal expression. In that class, she found her voice, and a sense of release she hadn’t felt before.
Throughout her life, Janet has leaned heavily on her faith, and she shares how it brought her peace in even the most devastating moments. She recalls a profound moment of calm during Brian’s last hours when she felt an inexplicable wave of peace wash over her. This spiritual experience stayed with her, helping her through the darkest times and reminding her that she wasn’t alone. In her memoir, she opens up about her faith’s role in her healing, showing readers that comfort can come from unexpected places.
Janet’s story also highlights the crucial role of community in healing. After Brian’s death, friends, family, and even Brian’s classmates filled her home, offering support and sharing stories. These moments helped her through those first difficult weeks, reminding her of the impact her son had on those around him. As time passed and life resumed, Janet faced a new kind of loneliness. But she found solace in writing, sharing her pain, and ultimately connecting with readers who have walked similar paths.
In her memoir, Janet doesn’t just share her story; she opens up about her regrets, especially when it came to supporting her young daughter through her brother’s passing. This honesty adds depth to her story, revealing the mistakes, lessons, and reconciliations that are part of her journey. Over the years, Janet and her children grew closer, and the process of writing became a way to heal and reconnect with her family.
For readers, Janet’s memoir is more than just a personal account of loss. It’s a guidepost for resilience, a reminder that while grief can be a lonely journey, it doesn’t have to be. She shows readers that by facing their pain, they can eventually find a path to healing and, perhaps, even joy.
Janet hopes that her memoir will resonate with anyone who has felt alone in their grief. She wants readers to know that no matter how deep the loss, they are not alone, and that healing, though not easy, is possible. Her story serves as both a testament to the enduring strength of a mother’s love and a reminder of the human capacity for resilience. It’s a story that many will turn to, finding hope, comfort, and the courage to keep moving forward.
